My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.' Demetri Martin
All the problem of women, starts with men. All the problem of men, ends with women.
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Santosh Kalwar
It didn't make you noble to step away from something that wasn't working, even if you thought you were the reason for the malfunction. Especially then. It just made you a quitter. Because if you were the problem, chances were you could also be the...
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Sarah Dessen
Turn your obstacles into opportunities and your problems into possibilities.
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Roy T. Bennett
Do you know what your problem is? You can't live with the idea that someone might leave.
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John Green
Many people pray to be kept out of unexpected problems. Some people pray to be able to confront and overcome them.
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Toba Beta
More Quotes By Demetri Martin
I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot...
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.
It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames! ” or “Smoke maker! ” or “Bad hot!
